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I was bored to almost dead at the teach-in event on Valentine's Day this year. Yes, you read it correctly, it was Valentine's Day and I choose to spend my time at a political event of which I wasn't even that interested in. Valentine's Day, and the genocide in Palestine still going on, Western leftists still think that the Islamic Republic of Iran is "oppressive" and "reactionary" and not "revolutionary enough", blah blah blah. Big deal. I didn't have anything else to do anyways. My phone was about to die in the middle of the slide on five characteristics of imperialism by Lenin, and I pressed my spine against the armchair to stretch. Then I saw her walking in, wearing a black parka jacket with a green long scarf. Oh man, the scarf looked so good on her I almost died. Her brunette, almost red hair, and her bright blue eyes.

She gave me a hug later that day during the break. "I was about to hug you earlier, but you walked away so fast." Little did she knew I looked back at her two times before walking away. I didn't smell her perfume, sandal wood and white musk, the one she wore when we walked the riverside together on a faraway night. I was dying to be alone with her. But she already walked up to other people and had fun with them. She didn't belong to me, after all. What did I expect??

The only private moment we had last for one and a half minute. I saw her black eyeliner, and almost no makeup on. She's so gorgeous under the florescent light. Then the whole group went to a sushi restaurant. On our way there, her sister called her up and scared the shit out of her. At the end, she told her sister she loved her. Oh man, I never knew you said "I love you" to your family? And I thought I know you well. We sat opposite to each other at the restaurant. I tried not to look at her too much. What if she thought I was a creep? What if she knew how much I liked her, by the looks in my eyes? Look away, look away now, you dumbass. Her eyes are so blue, and she smiled so nice. She belonged to others. But I want she belongs to me, only me. She cracked the jokes with others, she being adorable and affectionate, and she had fun with her cucumber sushi rolls and miso soup. And I thought you were only being sweet to me. I thought I was an exception. She tried to reach the pickle ginger, and I pulled it closer to her. I got quieter and the night got dark, but you never noticed. Did you know I got quieter cause I was dying to be alone with you? Cause I was hurt and sad that I couldn't be alone with you? I wanted the whole restaurant to disappear, so I could spend the night with you. Just endless conversations. You were right in front of me, being so happy.

At the end of the night, we walked to the station together in group of 4. She walked ahead of me with her roommate. Why didn't you talk to me now? There's no one else around anymore. Why did you just walk in silently? I stared at her back, hope she would look back for me, just for once.